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| Two Different Versions ... Two Morals OLD VERSION The ant works hard all summer in the withering heat, building his house and storing up supplies for the long, cold winter ahead. The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances the summer away. Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed and living in the house he worked for. The grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold. MORAL OF THE STORY: Be responsible for yourself. Simple. |
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| ANT and the GRASSHOPPER |
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| NEW VERSION The ant works hard all summer in the withering heat, building his house and storing up supplies for the long, cold winter ahead. The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances the summer away. Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed and living in the house he worked for. The grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while he's cold and starving. CBS, NBC, MSNBC, CNN and ABC show up to provide pictires of the shivering grasshopper next to a video of the ant in his comfortable home with a table full of food. America is stunned by the sharp contrast. How can this be, that in a country of such wealth, the poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so? Kermit the Frog appears with the grasshopper on Oprah and everybody cries when the sing "It's Not Easy Being Green". Oprah points out how evil the ant is. ACORN stages a demonstration in front of the ant's house where the news networks film the group singing "We Shall Overcome". Then Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton preach how the ant is trying to keep the grasshopper down. President Obama condemns the ant and blames George Bush, Ronald Reagan, Christopher Columbus and the Pope for the grasshopper's plight. Also, if it weren't for Sarah Palin and Global Warming none of this would have happened. When I make that ant pay for the grasshopper's medical bills, I will curb this injustice ... blah blah blah blah ... Nancy Pelosi, Harry Reid and Barney Frank exclaim in an interview with Larry King that the ant has gotten rich off the back of the grasshopper, and both call for an immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay for all his wealth. Finally, the EEOC drafts the Economic Equity & Anti-Grasshopper Act retroactive to the beginning of time. Unions, not having a clue what any of this is, actively support it. The ant is fined for failing to hire a proportionate number of green bugs. Having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the Government Green Czar and given to the grasshopper. The story ends as we see the grasshopper and his free-loading friends finishing up the last bits of the ant's food while the government house he's in, which, as you recall, just happens to be the ant's old house, crumbles around them because the grasshopper didn't maintain it. The ant has disappeared in the snow, never to be seen again. The grasshopper is found dead in a drug related incident, and the house, now abandoned, is taken over by a gang of illegal spiders who terrorize the ramshackled, once properous and once peaceful neighborhood. The people that brought on this tragedy are quick to point out ... how George Bush and Sarah Palin are to blame. MORAL OF THE STORY: Be careful how you vote in 2010 ... AND 2012. |
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